Found them at last, but it wasn't easy! I asked at several shops for a candle snuffer, and drew a blank. Most of those I asked had never heard of a candle snuffer, hadn't a clue what it was.
My daughter found one in the IKEA catalogue, but I didn't go to the giant store for a tiny item.
finally, I got one, then another. the key is from Pier I, and the other I had to send for. It's from Etsy and comes all the way from Florida. I'm pleased with these, but I still wonder: how do people snuff their candles nowadays?